I am currently working on my Pictorial Whispers project where I am using my analog photography skills and knowledge to work my way through the grieving process.
I have a well-defined narrative for this body of work. I am currently using collodion dry plates as my negative medium, and making handmade Kallitype contact prints.
To help realize my Pictorialist vision, I am exploring the use of a variety of vintage lenses, including my Dallmeyer 3B 290mm F3, Auzoux & Bauz 220mm F3 Petzval Convertible, Cooke Series II 13 inch F4.5 variable soft focus, and possibly some other lenses that I have in my collection.
Between the collodion dry plate negatives, handmade kallitypes, and vintage lenses, I am going in the right direction, but I know from experience I don’t know what I don’t know at this point in time. Meaning, I am not 100% certain these tools and methods will fully meet my vision until I make enough prints and get a lot of field experience.
I am basically aligning my compositions and images with the 5 stages of grief and metaphorically aligning my emotions, feelings, and grieving process to the natural landscapes I will photograph.
Light and other weather conditions, like fog, rain, snow, etc., will also play a vital role in image-making.
Like the 19th-century Pictorialists, I suspect I will have to devise clever ways to manipulate my prints to help me achieve my intentions and vision. This is the part that I am starting to think about, and I won’t really know until I start making the prints and have a specific need that I need to address.
At this time, I am justing thinking about this and I will let the work guide me where I need to go and worry about it at that time.
With winter fast approaching, it will be a good time to create the images that fall into the anger, bargaining, and depression stages of the Kübler-Ross grieving model.
As a starting point for my field adventures, I am sharing my personal journal notes about these stages as a way to begin the process. I am not sure if any of this is applicable or not, but I am using the time to be thoughtful about all of this and get some ideas of where I might head when I am in the field.
I create with intention, but I also embrace the unexpected.
Anger: Stark Contrasts and Turbulent Skies
As I explore the stage of anger, I am look for opportunities in nature that will help me communicate my feelings of turmoil. I am seeking natural scenes that embody this tumult – the gnarled branches of trees against a backdrop of stormy skies, or the chaotic feeling of the understory in a foret. These images, will be rendered in the Pictorialist style and maintain a certain sharpness and intensity, mirroring the inner turmoil and the burning sense of injustice and rage that accompanies this phase of grief.
Bargaining: Searching and Yearning
At this time, I am thinking this phase is about commuicating the idea of searching. I am finding myself drawn to pathways winding through forests or sunlight piercing through forest canopies, symbolizing a yearning for answers and a longing for a return to what once was. These compositions, will also possess the classic softness of the Pictorialist approach, but also convey a sense of movement and searching, reflecting the inner turmoil of negotiating with the pain of loss. With the long exposures of collodion dry plates, I will be looking for opportunities that suggest the passing of time.
Depression: Solitude in the Shadows
The overwhelming sadness of the depression stage is driving me to photograph solitary landscapes. I a drawn to the idea of a single tree standing alone in a vast, empty space. To convey the idea of vastness and empty space, I am going to have to figure out how to use a wide angle lens and these are not common in soft focus lens design. I am not sure where this idea will go or if it leads to a roadblock. I envision light and shadow becoming more pronounced, with the Pictorialist style lending a moody, introspective quality to the images. These photographs will speak to the idea of isolation, the weight of sorrow, and the deep introspection that comes with this stage of grief.
Through this project, the Kübler-Ross model is serving as a guide to help me express my personal grief but also a blueprint for artistic expression. Each stage of grief, articulated through the lens of Pictorialist photography, is allowing me to delve deeper into my emotions, using nature as a canvas to portray the complex journey of mourning. In capturing the transient beauty of nature, I find not only a tribute to my loss but also a path towards healing and understanding.
For every collodion dry plate negative that I make and every print that I create in the darkroom, I am sharing all of the above types of details with you via new articles here on the website and via my Darkroom Diary on YouTube.
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